| Goodnes, how nice :) |
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| 01:27am 04/08/2006 |
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mood:  enthralled music: Genialistid- Leekiv armastus
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I was just recognized for two hour work I did. In our programs it's a good feeling when somebody actually says something afterwards. :) Oh, Such small thank yous make me understand why I'm doing this all again and again. Heartwarming :) |
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| Sceary |
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| 09:57am 25/07/2006 |
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mood:  curious music: AFI- Prelude 12/21
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It has been busy time.
I scared my sister with this :D . Actually the figure dates back a month ago, but the drawing itself is done during the last week.
And then I saw this in my dreams. I didn't go to sleep the next night as I couldn't make myself close my eyes anymore. Anywho, it has been very hexic week.
Promised to go to a party in the week end. Imagine me drunk. Yup. Well... no. But an interesting thing it will be still.
We were also asked to make a small selection from our favourite songs. After hearing their version of the thing, I was a bit suprised. I have been hinted that my music taste is getting darker, but next to thiers I do seem different world. Not in this specific order.
The list is:
Martin Kesici feat. Tarja Turunen- Leaving you for me
Diorama- Das Meer
Qntal- Am morgen fruo
Rasputina- Wish you were here
Leave's Eyes- Norwegian Lovesong
Evanescence- Anywhere
Oomph!- Brennende Liebe
H.I.M.- Gone with the Sin
Ghost in the Shell SAC- Inner Universe
Deine Lakaien- Mindmachine
Apocalyptica- Bittersweet
AFI- Prelude 12/21
Hmm, I seem to suprise people a lot this summer. i can't make it out if they take it as a positive or negative thing. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Hanseatic days |
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| 02:19am 16/07/2006 |
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mood:  touched music: The Space Brothers - Your Place in the World
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I should be in bed, getting some sleep. So. that's why I'm here- I can't sleep! I just came back from medieval tournament and... oh, well, let's start from the beginning.
So... I do hope everybody know what Hanseatic Days stand for? If not, visit http://www.tartu.ee/hansa . A link that has burned in my brain till I die. In a good way that is :). I'm starting to think it was one fine idea to take part of this festival. First, I know the job I am supose to do, I have no fier what so ever and I get to see so many people again. Gigily--gigily.
Saw belly dancers and india dancers and singers and dancers from Israel, learned to make a paint, saw a carneval. They were all very interesting. Especially the rockchonsert by NYrock City (I might be spelling it wrong...) during a huge motorcicle show in the middle of all the medieval. And they suited in oh how well!
And I finished my dress, if you didn't knew that already. The links are up at http://liis5bet.deviantart.com . It was hard, but I did it :D.
Ok, that was VERY informing indeed.
The tournament was really an experience itself. First, it started around midnight and all was done in the light of torches and one huge light. It was really beautiful and we had so much fun jumping over horse bofy funcktions they kept leaving on the road for us to find.
And I met a guy. Two in fact. And third to become like one of them. Brothers. Gosh! Shiiz, how can somebody be so beautiful! And how can they look so alike to each other and both be elegant and neat! I couldn't take my eyes of the oldest one and had to keep myself from stearing at him all the time. He stared me back :). And not with the look-a-nutcase-over-there kind of way, but she-interesting kind of way. That cheered me up. He was in total black suit which suited him well and he had black hair. Ok, so I can't resist guys in total black, my mistake. And then I noticed his brother- like a gray mouse in the same style suit and a bit lighter hair. Some weird punk was hanging with them aswell, so I asumed all three were brothers. But a moment later it occured to me that they can't be brothers as I have never seen boys looking so similar to each other while being so different. The younger one was deffinitely copying the older one and he didn't seem to mind. Lovers came to mind (raze that indication from your memory as I have very sick imagination and I couldn't help it- I bet tehy are brothers and that's that). Anywho, they got my attention more than I would have let them know. They were inspireing me and I felt like in the seventh heaven. And as i was thinking that we were made to take in line and suddenly, this younger version stood in front of me and we started joking over the monks who followed us and spoke such nonsense it was hilarius. That inspiration was actually talking to me!!! Halleluuja! And during the whole walk we spoke on themes with no point what so ever. He was only few years younger than me, I guessed his brother is a bit older than I am. It was fun to see him warming up. And to realise that instead of the older brother HE was growing affection towards me! It's amazing how close you can get to people you hardly know. A reason, why I keep doing such work. Anywho, we spoke, we laughed, we changed looks and that's about all that happened. Later on, when we were leaving the tournament, I saw his brother again and whooh, I adored those creatures! Insoiration- you can't come so sudden, when I have to be up at 10 the latest! If they knew how nicely they affected me.
I love Tartu and it's nights! |
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| gaudeamus |
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| 05:33pm 02/07/2006 |
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mood:  crazy
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At 17:15 I ended up being up 24 hours again- in watch at Näituste maja for Gaudeamus. There are almost no one moving right now and I feel sleepy. But I can't go anywhere as I found out that there are again only two of us. Not funny.
Actually, my week-end started on friday. I guess I've told you abbout it already. Anywho, I arrived at Gaudeamus at 12 for the nightwatch and left at 12 on the next day. I slept less than 5 hours and game back at watch at 6. Then we found out that one girl couldn't come. You have 3200 and plus number of people sleeping at the place and party 24/7 and only two people at information desk! Plus security that only observes. So, I called one of my friends and was lucky as she promised to come and bring a friend along. And they never showed up. I guess they saw the place from far and got could feet. Ok, fine with that, but I am still mad as she never took the phone after that. It was fucking important and they played druant on a very bad moment.
I finished my watch at 12 the next day. I just remembered I have dryed fish at P14... And this watch is still going. And we are alone again. I'm mad, because my watch ended more than 9 hours ago and the people, who are suposed to be here are on the chonsert instead of replacing me. And because there is only one person left here from their shift I can't leave, because there must be always to people at least on the watch in case of imergancy. I feel like fainting, but I cant do that as they still need me.
And now I found that while I was doing my tour around the house they've eaten my dinner for leftovers. Not that it was much of a lunch itself, but I got a bit hungry indeed.
Oh, hell- I have to d oanother shift. |
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| Life is a bitch... |
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| 12:22pm 29/06/2006 |
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mood:  envious
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...when the lections you are ought to have are on fallsession, while the lections you must have had to get this springtime lections are ONLY in springsession and you failed them a year before you are ought to graduate.
...when all your dreams seem to vanish like washing powder commercial.
...when you try to meet friends and all are too buzy to have a deasent conversations or meet you.
...when you realize you MUST get a job on a year you desided for once to relax.
...when the week you planned spending time in the woods is rainy as hell.
...when dad desides he will come home earlier from work the whole summer and it means you are ought to do something useful at home instead of writing and studying.
...when you see all your friends going abroad at one moment and you are the only one who is still stuck at home.
...when the job you did pays less than you hoped for.
...when you realize you will not be finished in time with your project duo lack of time.
...when all facts you are looking up about your studings just love to speek against you.
...when your family seems to be in total denial about you not graduating in time.
...when taking a loan is not an option.
...when you find your most comfortable shoes to have a huge hole in them. Right before an event you are obligated to take part.
...when a program you are more than interested in taking part includes driving a bike, which, of course, is one of the few things you actually are not good at all.
...when a band you wish to see has a chonsert with a band you swore never ever to see. Plus the other bands cost more than you can ever afford.
...when you are yealows for something you know is writicelles and you can't get over it.
...when all pictures taken from you are politely putten ugly.
...when your wish to go to India is farer than ever.
...when your plan to eat less calories is ruined by your thin relatives who have just desided to get some more fat on them.
...when yous ound like you never wanna sound.
Darn! Give me a psychologist number. |
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| Midsummer's eve |
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| 09:10am 28/06/2006 |
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mood:  crappy
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It started a week ealier actually- I spent the first two days totally on cooking. It can be suprisingly hot when you have your awn in for almost 12 hours in a row. I managed to get to the point when it was both 30 C out AND inside the house, which was a torment as there was no fresh air at all. Still I managed to make wonderful table and everybody were pleased. My brother finished school- excelent way in my opinion, sister finished school aswell. And now they both made some kind of personality test or something to get in Uni. Wow, it's actually strange to think about it- I would think they are twins and not my sister and I.
After two days of cooking we had the party- neat :). The second day I had a friend's schoolfinishing, so it all went on with the same way. Pretty much as i didn't have to work that hard.
Finally, when it all seemed to be over and i was heading towards the peaceful Midsummer's Eve week-end, oit suddenly occured to dad that if we were home all together, it might be fun to pay a suprise wisit to one of his old friends. ´Though I always welcome such visits at our home I was dead tired and not so thumbs up about this trip. I wanted to sleep! During those last days I had slept mearly 8 hours all together! Plus I was hoping someone would actually come to our place. Still, dad made the call and said we were going. Nice. Nice indeed. Brother, fox, made a check-matt and called his friend insteed and then declared that he will be spending his week-end there instead. And as dad wished someone would stay home and guarde the place, I ended up being the only one to go from youngsters.
The place was beautiful though and we had wonderful time- I loved the serenity glowing from that household- there were endlessly old things, home-made things and the place itself was beautiful. The only two things that threatened to distroy that wonderful feeling I was having was the young master, who is just at the age when all stupid ideas come and "Look at me doing something" is their favourite expression in the whole world. And a small dog called Pähklike (Nut), who was in constant fucking mood- literally. Othervise he was very sweet dog. We went to searching for some jaaniussikesi and found many. They have very lovely green-shining buts ;I. That night I spent sleeping in the car. Can't call it much of a sleeping really.
The next day we came home, bought an ice-cream on the way and I enjoyd taking pictures with my mobile phone. God, they should get those little hints by now and get me a camera! Anywho, as we got home, sister was very happy to see us and she and brother spent their lasting day on studying for the test.
The next day was Be in the Wood day :D. I had planned going on that trip for days and finally, when I put my feet down and sayd I was going, mom and brother came too. I wasn't very happy about it as I did hope to spend that day alone studing moss and the soil it grows on. They desided of course that I can pic some berrys instead. I was happy to find there were no berrys to pick and finally managed to sneek out and collect some samples, which mother practically ruined later on, for the evening. Saw a small group of wild goats- the mail was very eager threatening me to go away. I guess they are starting their mating season soon. But I was clad to see them. Back at home we made vihtasid and at the same moment we finished, a friend called and sayd they were on their way to our place. That was very nice and they left very late, after we had finally but the fire on our fire-wood as well. The fire lasted for three days. And no, I am not kidding.
With this our week-end was over and I was back at work. For four days. That's... a day and a half more. And that's about the same ammount of time to finish Rosering. As I promised. Only two chapters more! The update will come before 1st of July. Oh, and I'm doing Gaudeamus this week-end. And I promised to go on Terminaator chonsert (This is something I promised myself to do years ago, but haven't been able to, so...). And then comes Hanseatic Days, which I don't do, but will definitely visit. That doing thing is not surtain though.
Moss garden- it takes two years at least to any garden to look good. |
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| Paper and pen |
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| 08:17am 19/06/2006 |
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mood:  nerdy
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How to screw up your life and make a huge hole to yourself- turn to me as I seem to be an expert on that. I am so happy I can't explane right now.
Still... |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Getting close... |
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| 01:58pm 15/06/2006 |
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mood: cheerful music: Outcast- Prototype
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So... after yesterday we have two school finishers in our family :). That's very good news in my opinion. Very good. Now there is only me who has some exams to finish.
Dad got himself *again* a new phone. And I got a new one as well. :) It takes photos and all :d. That's so strange, considering my last month's bill for phonecalls was over the limit quit a lot. Huhuhuuuhihihii.
I'm in some weird state again :)- cooking, cleaning, having a timetable, listening sweet chillmusic and all- feeling like being part of some cult :p. Hihihii. Like a true flower girl.
I can't wait when I'm finished with all these exams and have time to spend on editing and listening some audio books. |
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| got from vampodrama |
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| 09:42am 12/06/2006 |
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mood:  dancing music: Herbert Groenemeyer ft Amad- Zeit dass sich was dreht
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A. Describe yourself in 5 words – tired, strange, hopeful, searching, smiling.
B. If you could be exceptionally talented in anything, what would it be? – Writing.
C. Why are you currently single/taken? – I'm single, because I'm working right now most of the time.
D. When was the last time you were under the influence of a drug(s) and/or alcohol? – Two weeks ago, when uncle came to visit- he brought a fabulous wine.
E. How do you act when you're under the influence? – I observe people and things.
F. Where would you rather be instead of in front of your monitor? – In library.
G. When was the last time somebody hit on you? - A month ago.
H. When was the last time you hit on somebody? – A month ago.
I. At this exact moment, how are you enjoying life? – Dancing like crazy
J. What did you do today and who were you with? – I shall be in library, get the books, then come back and finish an essay.
K. Are you ever racist? I hope not- it's stupid thing to be.
L. What's one thing you cannot live without? – Only one? Forests- the lungs of Earth.
M. Do you consider yourself scene or gangster? – neither of them
N. What was the coolest party you've ever been to like? – There was a band, who was three hours late and we had waffels while waiting for them :D. I kept smiling for weeks after that. And then was Combichrist- God I would so much do that again XD!
O. Where was your first kiss? – In cinema.
P. What genre of music can you not stand at all? – trance, and rap I don't understand.
Q. Any scars or cuts currently on your body? – I'm not afraid of them ,so they keep coming.
R. What is one fond memory of your childhood? – Sitting under an oak and watching sunrise on a lake.
S. What's your favorite video game? – I don't play
T. What do you currently hear? – Herbert Groenemeyer ft Amad- Zeit dass sich was dreht. If there is any songs that will last for ages in my list- this is one.
U. What were you doing 24 hours ago? – Sushi
V. What is one thing you just LOVE to say? – TAPATALGUD
W. What is one thing you want to happen in the future? – Have a good life
X. What was the last thing you ate? – Buckwheat porrige
Y. Is your room currently messy? – A bit.
Z. If you found $300 on the ground, what would be the very first thing you buy? – I'd go for some truly amazing consert. |
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| Objectivity |
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| 01:19pm 08/06/2006 |
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mood: sad music: Evanescence- Anywhere
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I guess I'm lacking something to go to Japan. Like, experience working on the other side of the border. WTF?!?? How the hell am I supose to get the experience if all the people for the program are chosen by their experience in forigne countries. I am more than a dissapointed. I guess working with forigngers day by day counts nothing and my skills are pointless. I was really looking forward this. And the most frustrating is that a person gets to go, who takes it as another fieldtrip. I know I'm overreacting again, but... I'm sorry, I'm fucking sad right now. Concratulations, boy.
I wonder if Bush can calm down in Iraq for the next year? Othervise it might become quite some hell to go through there and I still have to consider using Russia as a gate to the other side of the war zone. I'm not so into Russia, so... |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| OVerstudying |
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| 03:00pm 07/06/2006 |
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mood:  busy music: my brain burning in heat
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I wanna listen a good book with lame plot RIGHT NOW! Just to relax.
Got some nori today. Oh my, they do know how to ask money- the price was outrageous. Sushi on Friday :)- that's when I'll have time to prepare it.
In front of me there is a book of garening and a cook book plus some psychology test book. Interesting...
Ok, must get back on checking over the texts for the next exam. |
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| Humane sport |
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| 03:02pm 06/06/2006 |
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mood:  dorky music: Il Divo- Everytime I look at you
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I just reseaved some results for my "hard work" at SELL- 4 AP and a B! I'm stunned and oh so happy. Wow! I could hug and kiss everybody right now.
And sweetheart- doublebighuge hug to you.
I actually feel like doing something again. |
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| Motor |
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| 02:13pm 05/06/2006 |
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mood:  irritated music: Evanescence- Anywhere
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I'm in hell and can't get out- how come I fail every test I study for and pass all I don't? What the hell is wrong with me? I should study for the next test and I'm crushed as I feel this will go as others earlier and it shows nowhere that I've done it. This has really ruined my day. :S
Found an interesting place to visit when going to India. Yup, I haven't let that thought go.
I was thinking of starting myself a new project I've been thinking about through last year and the more I try not to think about it the more it is a pain in the ass. And I have this urge to write again and... well... I have nothing to write about plus I need to work on my school yet. So, I'm afraid no updates on homepage this week eighter.
I'm becoming to form into my family's black sheep and I'm trapped as every time I try to speek about it I only get: oh, so, you're fine? I'm not fine. At all. I'm collapsing, piled with... I don't know. Oh, hell, it's not time nor place to speek about it.
I'm thinking about closing this place as I'm not sure anymore on how much I can say and how much not. A friend once stumbled on this page and now she's darn mad as she finds I've betrayed her and she woun't tell me how, though I can't really remember any entry about her... Argh! I can't handle it right now! Who the hell does she think I am? I suggest her to think hard and read the diary again and then confront me face to face, not ignore me like I didn't exist while standing in front of me in the cake line- I will not start avoiding every place we might meet. I know you are keeping your eye on this now, so: stop that drama and tell me- what the fuck is your problem? I am irritated enough without you ignoring me. You are starting to remind me of my sister and that's not a compliment.
I tryed to make it friend's only after my sister had her lament over the same matter, unfortunatly most times I forgot to change the security, so this wouldn't work. I'm so tired of it aswell- everybody are so eager to keep their life to themselves that I feel like I'm being tied up every time I wish to tell somebody something. There are so many secrets around me that every time I try to have a desent conversation somebody tells me: you shouldn't have told me that. I'm happy for somebody and suddenly it's a big secret. I'm not happy anymore. |
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| Sleeping |
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| 09:29am 02/06/2006 |
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mood:  enraged music: Evanescence - Away From Me
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I am missing another band I was so much waiting to see. I am so thrilled right now.
It is said that people can't learn from other's mistakes. I think this is wrong- where on earth did all the teaching books come then? History for example- there are thousands of mistakes in them and we must know all of them. Bilogy- most remarcable discoveryes were made by accident. So, think twice before you come out with such sentensek, please! You do know well, how annoying it is to hear it as you know quite well it's true and yet older people keep telling it to us! Start a new movement- lose that sentense! It is one of those things that older people feel so mighty with, but have no use for us, newbies in life. Yes, we do learn from our mistakes, but we also learn from you and see what not to do. And even when we do make mistakes we actually do know we did them so please- we do not need your good-willed explenation. It hurts like hell anyway. But it is so good to see other suffering, right? And to point it out.
Ok, I'm getting too emotional again, but what I wanted to say: if you see other person has made a mistake, bare with them, do not say it to their face as most times it actually does not help but makes the poor man feel even more miserable. They know it well themselves as they are not monkeys. So, let's stop treating them like monkeys, shall we? |
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| Canoe |
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| 04:07pm 01/06/2006 |
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mood: busy music: Hammerfall- Hearts on fire
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So, we came back from Keila and dad brought his new canoe from Tallinn with us. Nice white- blue thing with supriśingly wide centre. For some reason I imagined it to be much smaller. Anywho I ended up being it's godmother or how do they say. The christian was made made with viskey, which didn't taste as vale as I had feared. Her name is Shutterhand. Sounds a lot in style of those old cowboy and indians like stories. We went canoeing yesterday. oh, yeah, I must get myself trousers for it. Darn.
I still have exams, which means no update for the next week nor this week anymore.
I'm obsessed with ´pyramids that change their shape after every 10 minutes and guys with flesh-rastas. Geeky sweetness :H. |
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| da vinci, preditor and alien |
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| 04:47pm 30/05/2006 |
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mood: crazy music: claping hands for preditors :D
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I went to cinema with my brother today, to see Da Vinci Code. Wow. Nice film. A wanna read the book. But I still don't get it, what on earth is the catholic church so upset about? Especially when they've seen the movie- I see no threath. Considering there are about a 100 bigger legends going around about them and the secret societies. Perhaps the book can show some light on the matter. Anywho, the film was more than amusing and I loved the old churches and the usual, well treasure hunts... Lovely. Go see it :). Or get it.
As I already was on the mood for old stuff, brother brought out another film which had a huge "old" pyramid in it- Alien v. Predator. Thrilling!! Maybe I'm too fress-seen-this-movie, but I loved it. I'm a huge fan of predators (kiuks küll, aga nii see on :D) and seeing their'e been updated by their way of looking even better.... oh! The plot wasn't so new, though, but what to you expect from a hit-and-run (go see it only once and never return) movie? I will deffinetly look it again to see those nice predators again :). Thank God there weren't any very famous action actors- it would have been a pain in the ars to wait for fav to show up while all you are shown are huge muscles- please! You are not even quarter that interesting as these creatures.
Did some gardening yesterday- something I haven't done in ages. But it was fun and I must say my brother really knows how to keep me doing something I don't want.
Ok, I'll go back in my hole and start studing again. |
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| Exams and Sell and... oh my... |
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| 01:58pm 25/05/2006 |
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mood: busy music: Roger Pontare- When Spirits Calling My Name
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I passed the exam!!!! Juhuu! I was dead sure I woun't pass it and I'll have to take another exam on a new time as I had the second exam at the same time and... well, now I don't- I passed it. Not with very high schore, but hey, I had two exams that day plus homereading assignments to finish after my computer desided to play druant to me and lost my last two week works.
We had a shopping toure today- chose the suit for brother's school finishing and some shirts and a tie. The results for the exams have not yet arrived, but I thought if we'd leave the buying to the last moment (as the results come), then we'd face about 10000 prices. So, we bought it now and spent only 16 pro sents of it. :) He looks so neat in his suit.
I see so funny dreams lately. One included the bass player from MUCC. I was in the information desk in the SELL games and we had innormously many people around and he kept coming after every few moments to ask for a milkshake! But nobody had time for him, so I finally reached for the paper and asked him, what must be in that shake as I had never done one (which isn't true). He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, then someone pushed him, he turned and... I woke up. In the second dream I was in the role of a young woman who had the luckyness of finding herself a true prince. The prince was shy and she had to stand up for their love for few times and in one schene there was me sittig with my prince in some school diningroom, we were having peas (only). Some girl in red came, sat in front of us in our table and started eating carrots, mumbeling- I am sorry but I was asked to do it. I stared her like nuts, not getting the point. I still don't.
Sent the letter on its way to Tallinn. Now all I can do is wait. Two weeks left for the answere. Thumbs up! |
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| Second day |
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| 03:14pm 19/05/2006 |
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www.sellstudentgames.com
LOVE!!!! I wish the Gaudeamus to be such fun :)
Did the home-reading :) Still have actually some papers to give out, but othervise ,quite nice. Ended up doing it on Tolkien and then ended up talking with teacher on totally different subjects. Why didn't I do it ealier? |
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